We all know conflict is unavoidable…especially in the workplace.

We all know conflict is unavoidable…especially in the workplace.


Conflict 101

A Manager's Guide to Resolving Problems So Everyone Can Get Back to Work

Author: Susan H. Shearouse

Pub Date: May 2011

Your Price: $17.95

ISBN: 9780814417119

Format: Paper or Softback

Overview

When conflict brews at the office, it’s a manager’s job to cool things down.

We all know conflict is unavoidable…especially in the workplace. Whether it’s a fight over resources, a disagreement about how to get things done, or an argument stemming from perceived differences in identities or values, it’s a manager’s role to navigate relationships, and build compromises and collaborations.

Conflict 101 gives readers the tools they need to ensure not only that employees get back on track, but that disagreements breed positive results. Readers will learn how to:

• Build trust

• Harness negative emotions

• Encourage apologies and forgiveness

• Use a solution-seeking approach

• Say what needs to be said

Incorporating anecdotes taken from the author’s twenty years of experience as a conflict resolution professional, the book helps readers more deeply understand how conflict is created, how to respond to it, and how to manage it more effectively.

About the Author

SUSAN H. SHEAROUSE has served as Executive Director of the National Conference on Peacemaking and Conflict Resolution and on the Advisory Board of the Institute for Conflict Analysis and Resolution at George Mason University. Her clients have included Lockheed Martin, Philip Morris, the IRS, the US Environmental Protection Agency, the US Army Corps of Engineers, and many others.



Cover Copy

Whenever human beings interact, it’s inevitable that conflict—when what one person wants, needs, or expects interferes with what others want, need, or expect—will bubble up to the surface…and no more so than at the office. Whatever the cause, it’s your job as a manager to ensure that these ripples of discord don’t lead to a lack of productivity, increased employee turnover and absenteeism, and other natural consequences of workplace friction.

Conflict 101 gives you the tools you need to navigate relationships, build compromises and collaborations, and not only get your people back on track, but channel the energy of disagreements into positive results. You’ll discover practical, immediately usable ways to:

• build trust among coworkers

• harness negative emotions

• encourage apologies and forgiveness, and

• use a solution-seeking approach to resolving employee differences

• say what needs to be said in any situation involving interpersonal tension.

Whether it’s a disagreement about processes, factionalism over where money and staff will come from, or the byproduct of complicated relationships or differences stemming from iden¬ti¬ties or values, it’s imperative that you stem the tide of conflict and keep your people focused.

Advance Praise for Conflict 101

“Susan Shearouse's magnificent Conflict 101 provides the essential tools for improving our working relationships. Her humor and wisdom make this book a powerful guide. A joy to read!” — Robert Maurer, Ph.D., Faculty, UCLA and University of Washington Schools of Medicine; author of One Small Step Can Change Your Life

“Workplace conflict is pervasive and effective skills to intervene are too often limited. This is an especially valuable resource for employees and supervisors facing the challenges of managing conflict. It is engagingly written, grounded with real experiences in the field.” — Sandra I. Cheldelin, Vernon M. and Minnie I. Lynch Professor, Institute for Conflict Analysis and Resolution, George Mason University

SUSAN H. SHEAROUSE has a Masters Degree in Conflict Resolution and served as Executive Director of the National Conference on Peacemaking and Conflict Resolution. Her clients have included Lockheed Martin, Philip Morris, the IRS, the US Environmental Protection Agency, the US Army Corps of Engineers, and many others.





Excerpt

Overview of the Book

Part I sets the stage for understanding conflict, beginning with this chapter.

Chapter 2, “What Gets in Our Way?” explores what happens when

a working relationship has gotten off track—how fear, assumptions,

blame, and habits get in the way of resolving conflicts.

Part II, “Understanding the Dynamics of Conflict,” provides an

analysis of the dimensions of conflict, which points to the tools to understand

differences and avoid needless contention. Chapter 3, “What We

Need: The Satisfaction Triangle,” describes three necessary components

of satisfactory solutions. In Chapter 4, “Where We Are: Levels of

Conflict,” you will see how resolving conflict at the earliest opportunity

is easiest—and strategies for dealing with conflicts that have escalated.

Chapter 5, “How We Respond: Approaches to Conflict,” enables you to

gain a clearer understanding of your own approaches to conflict, and the

approaches others around you use. From there, you learn strategies for

beginning to change those approaches when they are not useful and to

deal more effectively with other approaches you encounter at work.

Chapter 6, “Who We Are: Cultural Considerations,” explores cultural

differences and the role these differences play in creating and

resolving conflict. Chapter 7, “What We Are Arguing About Matters:

Sources of Conflict,” analyzes five sources of conflict in the workplace:

information, interests, structural conflicts, values, and relationships—

with a guide to using that understanding to resolve conflict more effectively.

Part III, “Keys to Resolving Conflict,” introduces five concepts managers

can use to create a more positive climate for workplace relationships.

Chapter 8, “Building Trust,” considers behaviors that build or

wreck trust and how to rebuild trust that has been broken. Chapter 9,

“Apology and Forgiveness,” addresses the role that apologies and forgiveness

play, and provides steps to take to apologize effectively and to

move toward forgiveness. Chapter 10, “Rethinking Anger,” explores the

physiology of anger, as well as ways to manage your own anger or respond

to others’ anger. Chapter 11, “A Sense of Humor,” focuses on the importance

of keeping the ups and downs of working relationships in perspective;

and Chapter 12, “Time,” reflects on the importance of time in

decision making and the resolution of conflict.

Part IV, “Putting It All Together,” brings together concepts explored

in earlier chapters, providing specific conflict-resolution tools and communication

skills. Chapter 13, “Reaching Agreement: A Solution-

Seeking Model,” delineates a process for addressing differences, presents

a solution-seeking model, and shows how to use it. Chapter 14,

“Listening Is the Place to Start,” focuses on listening skills and explores

how managers can listen more effectively. Chapter 15, “Saying What

Needs to Be Said,” gives a guide and some tips for raising concerns and

addressing issues so that others are more likely to hear your message.

Chapter 16, “The Challenge of Electronic Communication,” explores

how to use electronic communication effectively in addressing workplace

conflicts.

Each of the concepts and skills presented here will enable you

to resolve conflicts more quickly and effectively, which will have an

immediate impact on morale, productivity, and ultimately the bottom

line.

Table of Contents

Contents

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

PART I

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER 1 THE JOY OF CONFLICT

Conflict Defined

Conflict in the Workplace

Drawing from My Own Experience

How We Think About Conflict

Overview of the Book

CHAPTER 2 WHAT GETS IN OUR WAY?

Fear as a Stumbling Block

Blame as a Stumbling Block

Assumptions as Stumbling Blocks

Habits as Stumbling Blocks

PART II

UNDERSTANDING THE

DYNAMICS OF CONFLICT

CHAPTER 3 WHAT WE NEED:

THE SATISFACTION TRIANGLE

Substance Satisfaction

Process Satisfaction

Emotional Satisfation

CHAPTER 4 WHERE WE ARE:

LEVELS OF CONFLICT

The Five Levels of Conflict

Strategies for Each Conflict Level

CHAPTER 5 HOW WE RESPOND:

APPROACHES TO CONFLICT

Avoiding

Accommodating

Directing

Compromising

Collaborating

CHAPTER 6 WHO WE ARE:

CULTURAL CONSIDERATIONS

Culture Defined

Five Dimensions of Cultural Difference

Power and Culture

CHAPTER 7 WHAT WE ARE ARGUING

ABOUT MATTERS: SOURCES OF CONFLICT

Information

Interests

Structural Conflicts

Values

Relationships

PART III

KEYS TO RESOLVING CONFLICT

CHAPTER 8 BUILDING TRUST

Components of Trust

How to Wreck Trust

How to Build Trust

How to Rebuild Trust

CHAPTER 9 APOLOGY AND FORGIVENESS

Apology Offered

Forgiveness Granted

CHAPTER 10 RETHINKING ANGER

The Physiology of Emotions

How to Manage Your Own Anger

How to Respond to Someone Else’s Anger

Anger and Violence in the Workplace

CHAPTER 11 A SENSE OF HUMOR

Keeping Things in Perspective

As Simple as a Smile

Cautions on the Use of Humor

CHAPTER 12 TIME

Patience Is a Virtue

Time to Process Feedback

Time as a Face-Saving Tool

Time to Check It Out

The Right Time

PART IV

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER

CHAPTER 13 REACHING AGREEMENT:

A SOLUTION-SEEKING MODEL

A Four-Step Process

Prepare

Discover

Consider

Commit

CHAPTER 14 LISTENING IS THE PLACE TO START

What Keeps Us from Listening?

The Three C’s: Calm. Courage. Curiosity

What Are You Listening For?

The Listener’s Tools

CHAPTER 15 SAYING WHAT NEEDS TO BE SAID

Know Yourself First

Frame the Situation Accurately

Speak to Be Heard

More Powerful Persuasion

What to Avoid When You Are Talking

CHAPTER 16 THE CHALLENGE OF ELECTRONIC

TEXT COMMUNICATION

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

When Not to Use Electronic Communication

How to Write an E-Mail

A Word About Social Networking

BIBLIOGRAPHY

INDEX